‘Tradition’ continues – My last post on this blog also in high ‘spirits’. Though it was difficult to write this post and even more difficult to share with all but then its fun to combine humor and reality with emotions!!
Though I would have liked to write a few more posts (on topics close to my heart) but then, need to put on breaks for my hobby for blogging. With around 4000 hits (a few hits from friends but most of them from strangers) in 18 months, I thought it to be right moment!! But as usual, before I continue, here are a few disclaimers (do read all of them!!)
1. ‘Strategy’ is one of the most abused word in B-school. I have also tried to abuse it, to the best of my abilities.
2. All the points written below are based on real life similarities. So any coincidence is purely intentional.
3. Though most of the points are from my ‘own’ experiences but quite a few points are from my friend’s experiences. But in no case, any of these points are indication of any desperation.
4. You are free to interpret to the best of your abilities but no misinterpretation!! Also, all points needs to be taken in good humor
5. Words in single quotes and brackets have ‘own’ meanings…..so interpret them based upon your ‘talent’.
6. All points similar in nature are grouped together to make it comfortable to read and enjoy!!
So here it goes……
1. Go and propose her. That’s the best way but not as simple as it sounds. Problem grows exponentially when you cannot even tell her, how much you like her. So the remaining points are when you like her but not ‘able’ to tell her. (You are quite good in everything else….but ‘love’ is not your cup of tea!!)
2. Scroll instant messenger (like gtalk) to see, if she is online. If she is not online, then scroll after sometime (this gap can be even 2 mins depending on your mood) to see if she is online now!!
3. Reading her status messages quite a few times and off course looking at her pic many more times.
4. Asking meaning for her status message even if you are able to interpret what it means.
5. In case any link is given in status message, then definitely browsing through it.
6. You try to put witty status messages in your status message (your image takes a huge dip as you don’t even know what is ‘humor’!!)
7. Even while crossing her, you don’t talk unless you have anything ‘useful’ or ‘sensible’ to talk about (no need to show that you are a dumb person, even if you are!!)
8. Keeping good friendship with common friends of hers.
9. Trying to make an ‘ok’ friendship with her best friend.
10. Planning a trip with group of friends of hers, in expectation that she would join.
11. Trying to form a project group with her.
12. If she in your group, then working very hard in that project (though you suffer in other projects but then who cares!!)
13. If she in your group, then taking blame for anything ‘wrong’ so that she thinks of you as quite strong and peace loving.
14. If she is not in your group but in your friend’s group, then visiting his room and suggesting unwanted ‘intellectual’ comments to get her attention.
15. If she in not in your friend’s group, then just pinging anyone in her group (for this you need to know all in college!!) for any crap reason when their discussions are going.
16. Passing unexpected, ‘unwanted’ comments in public to get her attention (if she is there around!!)
17. When she is around, you talk of things she like (place, food) in the hope that she might join your conversation.
18. Discussing with your friends about her, not about your feelings but on every other context.
19. If your friends are discussing about her, then holding yourself to pass any comment (very difficult!!)
20. Trying to take as many common electives with her choice of electives.
21. If your electives are same with hers, you just wish that faculty ‘puts’ you in the same project group.
22. If all electives are not common then counting the number of common electives you have with her.
23. If you have got a common class, then you dress nicely before the class.
24. In case you both are in the same course, you take notes from her to study or to find any hidden meanings in the beautiful drawings she had made in her notebook.
25. If you have taken notes from her to study and there is any question (direct or indirect) in exam or quiz, you offer her a treat may be howsoever small it is (like chocolate!!)
26. If you both are in the same course and you are early in class, then you wait for her.
27. If you both are in the same course and you are late for class, try to find seat next to her.
28. If you are sitting in a row ahead of her (or somewhere near) in class, then pretending reading ‘legendry’ novels to get her attention.
29. If you are not in a row ahead of her then sitting in a way such that you can have a look at her without anyone, even your best friends knowing about it.
30. If she is there in the class, then doing class participation (CP), Desperate CP (DCP), DDCP,…..
31. If she is there in the class and someone else in your group is presenting (you are totally free!!) then looking at her whenever you get opportunity.
32. If she is there in the class and you are about to present, you take a ‘glance’ to make sure that she is there in the class or ‘pray’ that she is there in the class before you present.
33. If she is there in the class and you are presenting (poor you!!) then definitely trying to crake a joke (or better PJ!!)
34. If she is presenting in the class and you are in the audience, you definitely listen to her (listening is a better excuse for ‘staring’) irrespective of whether it is of any value add to you or not.
35. In exams common with her, trying to get seat someway near to her so that you can wish her good luck. If you are not near to her, then any other ‘strategic’ seat would be fine.
36. In exams not common with her, you ‘try’ to wish her good luck.
37. If you have a class in which she is not there then who cares to dress properly or even how to present properly (poor your friends – they are losing marks!!)
38. You are involved in a lot of high profile activities in your college so that you might get her attention (and if she don’t give attention….you fool – who asked you to take so much of work!!)
39. If you are organizing an event, then you try that she is one of the ‘volunteers’ for your event.
40. If you are organizing an event and she is volunteering, then you assign her the most ‘strategic’ work so that you can have maximum interaction.
41. If you are not organizing an event but she is still one of the volunteers handling strategic work (damn…you are gone as there can be competition!!) you tend to somehow help her .
42. If you are organizing an event and she is not one of the ‘volunteers’, you try to at least make sure that she attends the event (‘mandatory’ attendance!!) and later on you ask her opinion about the event (hell with opinion….this is just a way to talk!!)
43. If there is ‘just’ an event which is neither organized by you nor she is one of the ‘volunteers’ than you try to take ‘strategic’ seat at the venue!!
44. If you are exchange program coordinator and then you use your international ‘relations’ to have more interaction with her.
45. You get definitely involved in activities which she likes (like socially relevant events)
46. You ‘just’ look for a chance to help her and can go to any extend to help her even without getting her know that you are helping her.
47. If she asks for any help, though unintentionally and howsoever small it is (like getting medicines or fruits when she is not well), you are on the ‘top of the world’!!
48. If you have a ‘talent’ like numerology, palmistry, graphology, etc. you try to ‘exercise’ your talent on her and if not on her then at least then on her friends.
49. You save her pics from common folder, in hidden folder of your system (hidden because your friends who uses your system does not even finds it)
50. Synchronizing your mess timings with hers. (What about your hunger then but you have limited options!!)
51. Looking (or better ‘staring’!!) at her in the mess.
52. Doing some crazy activities like increasing the volume of TV channel or just laughing at someone when she is there in mess.
53. Be the first one to help her in anything she needs (like tea glass, spoon, etc.) in mess. If you are not the first then just sit and watch others helping her!!
54. You tend to overdo things which she hates, simply because even she is ‘abusing’ you somewhere, she is at least talking about you.
55. You take every coincidence of her talking to you as sign of ‘eternal’ beginning though no such intent of her.
56. For anything unfavorable happening (where you expected most but it turned out to be very little) you surely ignore it.
57. If anyone passes not at all suitable comment on you when she is also there, then you are very angry on that person (but you cannot show it!!). Anyways, you try to show that these comments are irrelevant and explain to your ‘friend’ not to repeat it.
58. You wish her on every small success of hers. (Damn nice way but then everyone else does the same way!!)
59. You are there till the end (or for sure till the time she is there!!) when you have group parties/ JLT’s (or even celebrations like Holi)
60. If she is there in the dance parties then either you try to enter into her dance group or take a ‘strategic’ location to ‘appreciate’ her dance.
61. If she is there in the dance parties and you are boozed, then even you try to act as most decent man on earth.
62. If she is not there in the dance parties and you are boozed or not, you are most ‘creative’ dancer on the earth.
63. You try to form team with her for any other B-school competition participation.
64. If you are in the team with her for any B-school participation, you do extremely good data mining on net, present financials in the ‘best’ form and work division is always ‘comfortable’ for her.
65. In case you win any prize with her while participating in B-school competition, then it’s definitely because of her contribution (heck…did she actually done something!!) and off course there is a reason for ‘team’ dinner.
66. If you are not in team with her but she is with your friends then you try to help your friends and lot many other things to show your ‘significant’ contribution.
67. You try to show yourself as fitness freak like jogging with 10-12 rounds (no reference to any friend)
68. If you are going for any outings in group (like OBL) then you try to make group with her.
69. If she is in your group in outdoor activities, then you are somehow the best athlete and most energetic person.
70. If she is not in your group, then also you try to show that you are best athlete and most energetic person, in hope that she ‘might’ notices you (poor you – high input, RoI not guaranteed!!)
71. You tend to write blog on the things she likes (ahh..got something interesting!!) or learn the talent which she likes.
72. You tend to write inspiring and motivating blogs to get her attention and if she does not give attention (damn…what is going on!!), you ‘request’ her to read and then comment on your ‘updated’ blog.
73. You are afraid to look into her eyes, because you think you would fall in love with her even more!!
74. For summer internship, you pray that she gets into same company or at least same city or at least same domain (in the decreasing order of prayer!!) as of yours. In case, you are getting summer internship later than her (you duffer fellow….could have performed better, if you were not in love!!), than you try that your prayer comes true.
75. For final placement, though you are in love but you are now a ‘bit’ intelligent to get first a ‘good’ job, whether have relation or no relation to her company or location or domain. This way at least she would say congrats to you (got one more chance to talk!!)
76. You always look for an opportunity to talk. If you both are good friends (no reference to any friend) than you wait for your friends to make fun of you and then you ‘use’ this ‘opportunity’ to ‘explain’ her that there is nothing like this. (In fact, this blog will help you my friend!!). If you both are not good friends (or not even friends!!) then any opportunity is welcome.
77. If she is quite active on social networking sites, then you also join them (poor you…don’t even know the technology but what’s the harm in at least looking at her profile pic!!)
78. On social networking sites, you are quite active in ‘liking’ or commenting on her photo.
79. On social networking sites, you tend to play ‘chat chat’ while commenting on her pics (you don’t even realize that anyone can read this!!)
80. If she comments on your pic, even by mistake, you have got the best ‘chance’ to start the conversation.
81. You regularly visits her profile (though you forgets that your name would appear in ‘recent visitors’!!)
82. You browse through her online activities (adding friends, her comments on anyone, etc.) in an attempt to find something ‘more’ and interesting about her (probably best use of data mining or marketing research concepts in real life)
83. If you have a digital camera (or it’s of your friend!!), you will definitely take a pic of her though there would be few other real good friends of hers!!
84. If someone else is taking a pic of her (you are gone….again he might also like her!!), you try to somehow figure in that image.
85. You try to join the same interest group/ committee in which she is there.
86. If there is a voting procedure for the committee you both are standing or your friend is there, you try to make sure she wins (forgetting about yourself or about your ‘friend’!!)
87. If there is a voting procedure for the committee for she is contender, you do ‘silent’ campaign for her.
88. Planning dinner at the same place where she has gone with her group and then pretending as just ‘coincidence’
89. For any high profile match (like the one in which Sachin scored 200) watched by many in your mess or common room, you try to be in ‘strategic’ location to enjoy her simple and joyful expressions.
90. You try to show yourself good in every sporting event and if required you are ‘available’ to ‘coach’ her.
91. For matches within college, if there is a provision for having girls in the team and she is even a ‘decent’ player then you try to form team with her (no reference to anyone for forming ‘strategic’ team in X-cricket)
92. For matches within college, if there is a provision for having girls in the team and she is even a ‘decent’ player but you are not able to form team with her, then you definitely go to the field and ‘appreciates’ her playing skills
93. For matches within college, if neither she nor you are playing but both of you watching any match on the field, then you again take ‘strategic’ position to enjoy the match (or is something else??)
94. For any B-school sports participation, you try to participate with her in the event, though there might be 23 others in 25 member ‘squad’ but then who cares!! (If you are able to do this….its jackpot – your 4-5 best days in B-school!!)
95. In case she is coming to your room, for any project discussion or any other small reason, then you try to ‘make it’ neat and clean. This is irrespective of the fact that it is already quite neat!!
96. If she is usually in someone’s room for academic or any other reason, you try to be friendly with that ‘someone’ neighbor and pass not so required comments in loud voice to get her attention.
97. You ‘hate’ when your friends associate your name with some other girl on the campus (you cannot even speak to one….so why associating name with someone else!!)
98. In case your friend is getting married and the venue is some near-by place, you definitely go if she is going. In that case, you try to maximum ‘utilize’ the situation. If she is not going to that marriage, then you have no ‘incentive’ to go (unlike your other friends who have at least one motivation!!)
99. You write testimonials for all in your batch, just before leaving, in the hope that like many others she would also read it and then there ‘might’ be a few conversations with her on what you have ‘written’ about her.
100. You write the last post titled ‘100 Things You Do In B-school When You Like Someone’ in your blog!!
I hope you would have enjoyed my last post on this blog and quite a few other posts. In any case, feel free to give your comment/ feedback.